found this post kinda funny

What's wrong with Robert Pattinson?

The world is Robert Pattinson’s oyster. He’s young, good looking and has millions of crazy (not in an endearing way --more like clinically insane) fans who would chop off their feet if it meant having Robby spit on them. Why, you may ask? See below.

The Twilight effect: Inheriting a huge built-in, potentially rabid fan base, simply by showing up to rehearsal.So with all his money, fawning goth girls and a popular ready-made franchise, why is Robert Pattinson so depressed all the time? Is it because fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be? Is the world so beautiful, sometimes he just can’t take it? I want to cheer him up.The first thing I’d do is buy the guy a sandwich from Jimmy John’s. They’re delicious. Maybe a cookie too, but I don’t want to push my luck. He doesn’t know me and I’m sure buying him a hardy sandwich might creep him out. I’ll take my chances.If the sandwich doesn’t work, I’d invite him to go to Dave & Buster’s with me. He’d get me a Power Card with $50 on it. (I’m not buying him a card. He’s a millionaire and he should act like it. Throw money around at Dave & Buster’s, P-Diddy style and man up.) Skee-ball should cheer Robby up. It cheers everybody up...except for Sylvia Platt’s son. Once we’re done playing $200 dollars worth of skee-ball and redeem the tickets we won for a cassette tape of Carmen, we’d go to a non-corporate coffee-shop and talk about our feelings. I anticipate this conversation to be one-sided. I don’t have feelings so this would really be up to him to make the conversation progress. Hopefully social awkwardness cheers him up.Since non-corporate coffee-shops don’t really exist, we drive to Village Inn and he buys me a cup of Folgers and a slice of pecan pie. I hate pecan pie but I don’t want to hurt his feelings due to his increasingly fragile state. I poke at it, swill some bitter nastiness and tell him a dirty joke about Kermit the Frog. As expected he doesn’t budge. “It’s not easy being Robert Pattinson either,” he tells me. Defeated, I pay the bill and give him a hug. Not a regular hug, but a guy hug. The kind guys do where they embrace and slap each other on the back as if we’re attacking each other. He murmurs something about the Dave & Buster’s card and leaves.Poor guy. I feel bad for him. Not in a real meaningful way, but more like how I feel when I see a fish. I hope he cheers up. Or at least goes on Twitter and tells Demi Moore his intentions before he does anything drastic.

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